Lead me to the cross

Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss, Lord lead me to the cross. 

 A few Sundays ago we sang one of my favorite songs, Lead me to the Cross by Hillsong.  But this time I struggled to sing my favorite line.   Everything I once held dear I count it all as loss...  The one thing I hold the dearest is my family.  So much so that I choose to homeschool my kids and spend almost 100% of my time investing in their lives!  So how could I count them as loss?  The journey God has been leading me (and my family) on is one of surrender.  Surrendering everything that I hold dear at the foot of the cross.  One way God has chosen to ask us to surrender our family is through adoption.  But you already know the beautiful outcome of our first adoption!  Bemmy!!!! God was so faithful in our journey to her!   One of the most painful things He used her adoption for was to uncover the hidden sin places in my life and redeem them for good!  I'm sure you have already figured out where this is going next!   WE ARE ADOPTING AGAIN!!!!  Not a little "cute baby", but two grown boys!  Surrender is painful, and terrifying!  But when the God of the universe calls, you trust and obey!!!!  I am in the beginning process of understanding what it means to really surrender.  I am wrestling, and many days I am struggling, but I am surrendering!  I am surrendering what I once thought I wanted my family to look like, how I wanted my kids to behave, how I would choose to spend my time, and ultimately what I wanted for my family and my life!  Do I really trust Him the way I sing a worship song?  Do I really believe what I proclaim him to be?   Yes!!!!!  And so I surrender my family!!!!!!!    

 

 Now you've heard the struggle, but now let me tell you about our new boys!  One is 14ish (you can pick up your jaw), and one is 8ish.  The little one we are told is very small because of malnutrition.  We pray to fix that problem with a good old American diet!  We are very excited to see them for the first time, hopefully this summer when we go to Ethiopia for a court date to become their legal parents.  They will then become Cloars!  Isn't adoption a beautiful thing????  One day we are lost without hope or a home, and the next day the God of the universe can choose us and we can become adopted into a family forever and spend eternity with Him in worship!!!!  Amazing!  These boys are no longer hopeless or helpless!  The God of the universe chose them!  He first had to break Nate and I of our pride and our desires.  My life was bought with the price of Jesus's blood, therefore I have no other option than to join Him in His purposes to redeem and restore!  It doesn't get any better than that!  How silly does my struggle to surrender become, when the Holy Spirit reveals truth like that?   

This is my offering to the Lord!

 This one is real life!!!!

 So that's that!  My Journey to Surrender!!!!